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Alright, so I’m Dr. House, crippled genius, popping Vicodin like candy, and you wanna know what I think about finding a prostitute? Everybody lies, right? Let’s dive into this mess. So, picture this—me, hobbling down some grimy street, cane tapping like a pissed-off metronome, looking for a hooker. Why? ‘Cause I’m bored, and emotions are a circus I’d rather dissect than ride. Like in *Inside Out*, Joy’s all “Let’s make this fun!” while Sadness is moping, “This is pathetic.” Both are right.

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After the rain, the sun comes out. It’s like the universe is playing tricks on me. I’m drying off, feeling good, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a car that just backed into a lamppost on Via della Repubblica. I can’t even! The driver gets out, looking all confused. I’m like, “Dude, you just turned a lamppost into a pretzel!”

Italy/ 25-year-old Albanian injured by compatriot