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Anyways, I’m chattin’ this one up, she’s smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a wall. Smells like cheap perfume and regret—love that shit, gets me goin’. She’s all, “Fifty bucks, big guy.” I’m like, *“Every second counts,”* so I haggle—forty, take it or leave it. She laughs, says, “You’re a weird fucker.” Damn right, darlin’—I’m Hannibal, I’d carve ya up with a smile!

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I start my work, and it’s hot. Like, sweat-drippin’-down-my-back hot. I’m spraying this anticorrosion stuff everywhere, and I swear, I’m inhaling half of it. Not the best for my lungs, but hey, gotta do what you gotta do. Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on my shoulder. I freak out! I’m flailing my arms like a maniac. The guys from the factory are laughing their butts off. I’m like, “Dude, get this bird off me!”

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