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Here’s a mad fact—did ya know prossies been around since Babylon? Yeah, they had temples for it—sacred shaggin! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin I’m some cosmic king tryna haggle. She says, “50 quid,” and I’m like, “Bloody hell, I ain’t Stephen Hawking rich!” Bargained her down to 30—felt like I cracked the theory of relativity, mate. Happy as a pig in shit, I was.
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I sprint to the lumberyard. It’s on the outskirts, near the river. The guy there, Luigi, is always grumpy. I walk in, and he’s like, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I need wood. Like, yesterday.” He rolls his eyes. Classic Luigi. But hey, I charm him with a joke about his mustache. He cracks a smile. Score!
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