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I ask her, “What’s the deal, doll?” She’s all, “Cash up front, no funny biz.” I’m laughin—me, funny biz? “I’m not tryin to understand the Midwest here!” I say, quotin Larry’s dumb ass. She rolls her eyes—makes me happy as a pig in shit. Love that attitude! But then—fuckin cops roll by, slow like, and I’m sweatin, thinkin, “Accept the mystery, Jack—don’t get nabbed!” She grabs my arm, pulls me into this alley—quick thinker, this gal! Saved my bacon, and I’m like, “You’re a goddamn saint!”

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But then, one of the kids kicks the ball too hard, and it smashes into a window! Oh man, the look on that kid’s face! Pure horror. The owner of the shop, Signora Bianchi, comes storming out, waving her arms like a madwoman. I’m cracking up, but I feel bad for the kid. I mean, it’s just a window, right?

Fish and Red Wine? Yes, You Can: 10 Bottles That Break the Ultimate Pairing Taboo. Luca Gardini Reveals Them Here.