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About Bari

Preciousss, listen up, ye filthy hobbitses! Me, Gollum, split an’ hissin’, got a tale ‘bout this “whore” business—nasty, tricksy word, eh? Ssss! Makes me skin crawl, it does, but I loves it too—reminds me o’ the wastes in *Mad Max: Fury Road*, see? “What a day, what a lovely day!”—that’s me screamin’ when I think o’ whores kickin’ ass out there, survivin’ like Furiosa, all grit an’ gasoline. Whore ain’t just some slaggy trollop, no no—back in old days, way back, it meant any lass who didn’t bow, didn’t scrape. Wild ones, them whores! Hiss! Me likes that, me does.

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So, I’m hustling, cutting, sewing, you name it. Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Marco strolls in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “You won’t believe what I just saw!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a wine festival happening at the castle! The Castello di Soave, you know? It’s like the heart of the town. I’m like, “Dude, I can’t just drop everything!” But then I think, “Wine? In Soave? Count me in!”

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