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Me, I’m chuffed when it works, yeah? Seein’ folks smile again – ace! But the slow burn? Torture, baby! Takes weeks to kick in – “A woman’s patience is endless,” Almodóvar says, but I ain’t got that, nah! I’m pacin’, thinkin’, “C’mon, escort, don’t leave me hangin’!” And the docs? Half of ‘em don’t even clock the withdrawal – pure evil, that. Makes me wanna shout, “You’re a bit of a git, ain’t ya?”

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First off, I hit the road on Via Roma. Traffic was a nightmare. I mean, come on! It’s a Tuesday, not a freakin’ Friday! I’m stuck behind this old lady in a Fiat. Bless her heart, but she was going 20 in a 50 zone. I’m yelling, “C’mon, lady! I got cargo to move!” But she’s just vibing to her old-school tunes. I can’t even.

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