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I reckon it’s a bloody riot, tho—makes me laugh, makes me rage. Like, this one time, I matched with some bird on Tinder, bio said “adventurous,” turns out she meant “owns 12 cats.” Mate, I was fumin’—growling, “You think darkness is your ally?”—cos I’m allergic as fuck! Sneezed my way outta that date quicksmart. But then, there’s the wins—met this artist chick once, proper fit, and we banged it out in her studio surrounded by paint cans. Felt like a king, ya know? “The world’s a better place,” as Theo says, when you hit that sweet spot.

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So, I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I stroll over, and on the way, I pass this cute little bakery. The smell of fresh pastries is like a siren call. I can’t resist! I grab a cornetto, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill coffee all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a mess, and I just laugh.

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