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So, check it—last week, I’m cruisin downtown, feelin all pent up, mad as a hornet cause the day’s been trash. Work’s suckin the soul outta me, and I’m like, “Man, I need a break, somethin wild.” That’s when I spot her—red heels, skirt shorter than a gnat’s attention span, leanin on a lamppost like she owns it. Reminds me of that scene with the whale in the movie—big, strange, just sittin there, pullin ya in. I’m thinkin, “Well, shoot, this is it, ain’t it?”

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But then, the mood shifts. This group of loud tourists comes in, and they’re just obnoxious. They’re taking selfies, yelling, and I’m just trying to enjoy my drink. I mean, come on! We’re in Sedriano, not a theme park! I can feel my blood boiling.

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