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About Rome

So, I’m cruisin’ downtown—total chaos, mate! Saw this bird, right, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Look at me, bitches!”—straight outta the movie, I swear! I’m thinkin’, whoa, she’s got that wild energy, like Faith in *Spring Breakers*, all reckless and free. I go up, all smooth-like, “Hey, luv, fancy a shag?” She laughs—bloody hell, her cackle’s loud! Made me jump, nearly lost my mojo!

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First off, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? Just me and my coffee, feeling all fancy. The sun’s shining, the lake’s glistening, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be great!” But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the one that’s been sitting there since last week. My shoes are soaked. Awesome.

Vale Carlo Riva, an Italian boating legend