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Little fact – Japan’s got “soaplands,” slippery sexual-massage joints! Crazy, right? Slang’s all “happy ending” this, “full release” that – cracks me up. Sarcasm time: “Oh yeah, real classy, Homer.” Still, I’d blab to Barney, “Dude, it’s like heaven, but sticky!” D’oh! Gotta admit, it’s fascinatin’ – sexy, weird, human. What ya think, buddy? Ever tried it? Spill the beans!

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We gear up, and I’m feeling pumped. The water’s cold, but whatever. I dive in, and it’s like entering another world. Fish everywhere! I’m talking colors that don’t even exist on land. I’m swimming around, feeling like a mermaid or something. Then, outta nowhere, I see this massive catfish. Like, bigger than my dog! I freak out, but then I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a fish.”

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