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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout this erotic-massage ting! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s fuckin wild, yeah? Been muckin about as an agronomist, growin shit, but this? This is a differnt beast! Picture it – two blokes, hands all oiled up, slidin over ya like them cowboys in *Brokeback Mountain*. “I wish I could quit you,” I’m thinkin as some geezer kneads me back! Hahaha, fuckin mental innit?

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Next up, I had this girl, Sofia. She was a total opposite of Marco. Super confident, like she owned the road. We’re driving down Via Garibaldi, and she’s blasting some pop music. I’m trying to teach her about roundabouts, and she’s singing at the top of her lungs. I’m like, “Sofia, focus!” But she’s in her own world. Honestly, I kinda loved it.

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