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About Milan

So, listen up, mate! I’m creepin’ round the streets, yeah, eyes sharp like a hawk. Lookin’ for them girls, the ones with the winks and the hips. “Zero, you must exercise restraint!” – that’s what that posh concierge’d say, but nah, I’m divin’ in, head first! Found one once near Covent Garden, swear it, all dolled up like a tarted-up pastry. She goes, “Wotcha, love, fancy a tumble?” Made me cackle, it did – proper cheeky!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the park, Parco della Resistenza. It’s a nice spot, but man, it was packed! Families, kids, dogs everywhere. I swear, I almost tripped over a golden retriever. Like, chill out, pup! I just wanted to sit on a bench and enjoy my coffee. But nooo, the universe had other plans.

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