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Little-known fact? Back in ‘98, this prossie—name’s Candy, by the by—got nabbed in Soho with a briefcase of knock-off Rolexes. Not just shaggin’ for quid, nah, she’s a proper hustler. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ she’s out here playin’ 007 better than me. “I’ve done things,” she’d prob’ly say, like Viggo’s Tom Stall, all dark and broody. But here’s the kicker—her insurance scam? Claims she “slipped” in a punter’s flat, busted her ankle. Docs sayin’ it’s an old break. Caught her struttin’ in heels next day—bloody miraculous recovery, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and guess what? It smacks right into the performer! Flames go flying, and I’m like, “Oh snap!” The crowd gasps, and I’m just standing there, laughing my head off. The performer, though? He takes it like a champ. Just rolls with it. I’m impressed.

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