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So, here’s the deal—prostitution’s old as dirt. Back in ol’ Russia, they had these secret brothels, even under them commie noses—wild, right? You’d think they’d shut it down, but nah, people sneaky. I’m talkin’ to ya like you’re my buddy—imagine us, beers in hand, shootin’ the breeze. Findin’ a hooker? Man, it’s a crapshoot! You gotta know the streets, the shady corners—don’t be a dang fool stumblin’ blind.

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By now, I’m starving. I hit up this little trattoria on Via Mazzini. The food? OMG. I order pasta, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurping it down, and I can’t even. But then, the waiter spills water all over my lap. I’m like, “Really, man?!” But he’s super apologetic, and I can’t stay mad.

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