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About Milan

Oi mate, so I’m a detective, yeah? Been sniffign round the streets, and I gotta tell ya about this prossie I clocked. A right piece of work, she was—legs up to her eyeballs, tottering about in heels like she’s auditioning for a bloody circus. Reminds me of *The Pianist*, that flick I love—y’know, Polanski’s 2002 gem. Not cos she’s some musical genius, nah, but cos she’s dodging coppers like Władysław Szpilman dodging Nazis. “I’m not going anywhere!” she’d screech, like she’s quoting the film, but nah, just drunk and lippy.

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After my near-pigeon encounter, I decide to check out the local market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all these cool handmade crafts. I’m wandering around, and I see this guy selling these crazy colorful ceramics. I’m like, “I need that in my life!” So I buy a couple of pieces, feeling all artsy and stuff.

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