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But then—ugh—some drunk stumbles over, reekin of ale, grabbin at her. Pisses me off—ruins the vibe! I flick a finger—poof—he’s face-down, snorin. “A small thing, but mine own,” I quip, stealin from Yi Yi again—fits, don’t it? She’s laughin now, says, “You’re weird, but fun.” Damn right, I am! Burdened with glorious purpose—messin with mortals, stirrin the pot. Did ya know, back in Victorian days, they called em “soiled doves”? Poetic, but grim—history’s wild like that.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. Best spot in town, no cap. The barista, Marco, he’s a legend. He knows my order by heart—cappuccino, extra foam, sprinkle of cocoa. But today? Dude spills half of it all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, what’s the deal?” He just laughs it off, says it’s a “cappuccino shower.” I mean, I get it, but c’mon! I need my caffeine fix!

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