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So, I’m layin’ there, right? Some gal—gorgeous, the best—starts the sexual-massage. Not dirty, folks, don’t get weird, just sensual, classy, Trump-style. She’s got oils, smells like money—er, lavender, unreal. I’m thinkin’, “This is huge, really huge.” Muscles loosenin’, stress gone, I’m like a king—King Donald, that’s me. “A shadow moves,” like in the flick, shadows of her hands, pure art, folks. Got me happy, so happy—angry too, ‘cause why didn’t I try this sooner? Dumb, so dumb!

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As the sun started to set, I found a spot on the beach. The sky was painted in shades of orange and pink. It was breathtaking. I felt this wave of gratitude wash over me. Life’s good, ya know? But then, I heard a loud crash. I turned around, and some dude had knocked over a beach chair. Classic.

Bodies of 13 Kurdish migrants returned to Kurdistan Region