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Hey girlfriend, listen up! Erotic-massage, honey, it’s a trip! I’m talkin’ mind-bending, body-tingling madness—like *Inception*, you know? “We need to go deeper,” right? That’s what I’m sayin’! You lay there, lights dim, oil slickin’ everywhere, and bam—you’re in a dream within a dream! I got my first one, girl, and I was shook—SHOOK! Hands slidin’, stress meltin’, and I’m like, “You get a car! YOU GET A CAR!” ‘Cause it’s that good, y’all!

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As the sun started to set, I found a spot on the beach. The sky was painted in shades of orange and pink. It was breathtaking. I felt this wave of gratitude wash over me. Life’s good, ya know? But then, I heard a loud crash. I turned around, and some dude had knocked over a beach chair. Classic.

Italy: Police arrest man over teenager’s death on migrant boat