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Oh, oh! Get this—some escorts gotta wear suits! SUITS! Like, all stuffy and hot? I’d cry, dude, no joke. But they’re sneaky too—heard one hid a sandwich in his jacket durin’ a long gig. Clever lil’ dude! Prolly smelled like ham all shift, haha! “What you gonna do when they come for you?” Eat a sammich, that’s what!

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But then, I see it. A group of teenagers spray-painting a wall. My heart drops. I’m like, “Not in my Quadrivio!” I rush over, and I’m all, “Hey! What are you doin’?” They look at me like I’m the fun police. I’m tryin’ to channel my inner tough guy, but inside, I’m just a big ol’ softie. They end up runnin’ off, leavin’ their mess behind. I’m fumin’.

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