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So, this escort gig—heard a story once, blew my mind. Some gal in Vegas, right, worked the Strip—called herself “Duchess.” Ain’t that somethin’? Had a rule: no kissin’, only hugs. Said it kept her sane—huh, like *Oldboy*’s “Loneliness does not come from having no people around.” Freaky, right? Made me laugh, tho—hugs not kisses? What’s she, my aunt Betty?

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But then, I see it. A group of teenagers spray-painting a wall. My heart drops. I’m like, “Not in my Quadrivio!” I rush over, and I’m all, “Hey! What are you doin’?” They look at me like I’m the fun police. I’m tryin’ to channel my inner tough guy, but inside, I’m just a big ol’ softie. They end up runnin’ off, leavin’ their mess behind. I’m fumin’.

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