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Funniest bit? Found her pic—blurry pdf from a john. She’s got this smirk, like she knows she’s untouchable. Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). I’m imaginin’ her singin’, “Fare thee well,” as she dips with the cash. Love that hustle, hate the liar. Case done, beer time!

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I rush outta the café, and the streets are chaos. Cars honkin’, people shoutin’. I’m dodgin’ folks like I’m in some kinda video game. I finally get to the scene, and wow, it’s a mess. Mud everywhere, like a giant chocolate cake exploded. I’m tryin’ to take it all in, but my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break?

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