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About Naples

So I’m thinkin, right, how’s a bloke s’posed to pick? Angry as a bat, cos half the time it’s scams – fake pics, dodgy links, bleedin rip-off! Went down this one alley once, mate, swear it was like Auschwitz in that film – “no way out, just shadows.” Nearly shat meself, but then – bam! – this bird, all legs an’ glitter, pops up. Happy as a pig in mud, I was! Cost me a tenner to chat, tho, surprised me bollocks off.

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But then, the wind picks up, and it starts blowin’ sand everywhere. I’m talkin’ full-on sandstorm! I’m tryin’ to shield my drink, and Marco’s laughin’ his head off. “Welcome to Procida!” he yells. I’m like, “Yeah, thanks for the welcome, buddy!”

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