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Thing that pissed me off? She’s countin’ the cash like I’m gonna stiff her. Rude, man! I’m an accountant, I don’t screw up numbers! But then she’s all chill, crackin’ jokes—says she once had a client pay with a goat. A freakin’ goat, dude! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ that. “The beast is here,” I say, noddin’ to the movie vibe. She don’t get it, whatever.

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After that, I decide to wander around. I hit up Via Roma, and man, the shops there are wild! I find this little boutique with the coolest handmade stuff. I’m talkin’ jewelry, pottery, you name it. I’m about to buy this sick bracelet when the shopkeeper starts talkin’ my ear off about the history of each piece. I’m like, “Dude, I just want the bracelet, not a history lesson!” But I smile and nod, tryin’ to be polite.

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