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Alright, buckle up, fam! So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like a total Michael Scott move—cringey optimism, baby! “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me. Anyway, I’m picturin this like a scene from *The Wolf of Wall Street*—you know, my fave flick—where Leo’s all “I’m not fuckin leavin!” and just divin into chaos. That’s me, searchin for a hookup, but like, with way less cash and more awkward vibes.

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Finally, I head back to the office, and my phone buzzes again. It’s my client from earlier. He’s like, “I want to make an offer on that dump!” I’m like, “Are you sure?” But hey, a deal’s a deal, right? I’m pumped, but also, I can’t help but feel a bit guilty.

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