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Look at it, squat lil’ thing, boxy as Margot Tenenbaum’s frown. “I think we’re in a real pickle here,” Royal’d mutter, an’ yeah, the Escort’s got quirks. Gearbox clunks like a drunk uncle at a weddin’. But there’s charm, innit? Saw one pimped out once – spoiler big as me ego, made me laugh ‘til I cried. Proper mental! Then some twat nicked Dave’s stereo – made me ragey, wanna punch a wall. “You’re a bastard, Royal,” I’d yell, but nah, just life in the Escort lane.

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After the intermission, the second act was even crazier. There was this epic fight scene, and I swear, I was on the edge of my seat. The actors were so dramatic, waving their arms around like they were in a soap opera. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Ballet Fantastique’s “Aladdin: The Rock Opera” brings dreams to stage