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So I’m scrollin’ Tinder, right? See this dude—profile says “6’5, loves trout”—I’m thinkin’, hell yeah, fish guy! Turns out, he’s 5’2 and allergic to seafood. Catfished me good—made me angry as hell! Billionaires runnin’ these apps don’t care—makin’ bank off our lonely hearts. Swipe, swipe, swipe—half these profiles fake as a three-dollar bill. Little fact for ya—back in ’90s, folks used “personals” in newspapers for this crap. No pics, just vibes—way less BS!
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I’m mad, but also kinda impressed. Like, that’s some next-level thievery. So I grab a gelato to soothe my soul. Chocolate hazelnut, obviously. It’s like a hug in a cone. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Now I look like a walking dessert disaster.
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