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About Milan

Oh, and the smells! Lavender oil up me nose, I’m sneezing like a twat mid-massage. Surprised me, that—thought it’d be sexy, not a bloody hayfever attack. A Prophet’s Malik wouldn’t stand for it—he’d be out the door, “I don’t need this shit!” And nor do I, mate. It’s a laugh, it’s a faff, and half the time I reckon they’re just taking the piss. Erotic-massage? More like erotic-mess, geddit? Ha! Right, I’m off—me hands are knackered from signing this bollocks!

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While we do accept walk-in bookings, if you have a specific person in mind, we highly recommend making an advance reservation to ensure their availability. Wish to see someone on a date not .

But then, outta nowhere, this guy named Luca steps in. He’s a local, and he’s got this charm that just lights up the room. He starts cracking jokes, helping clean up the mess, and suddenly, the mood shifts. Everyone’s laughing, even the girl who spilled everything. It’s like magic, man.

Bronze for England team at European U20 road race