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Heya buddy, so escort, huh? Like, woah, it’s wild stuff! I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I’m thinkin’—is escort like mayonnaise? Ya know, an instrument or somethin’? Nah, it’s people, right? People who hang out with ya for cash! Kinda fancy, kinda sneaky. Watched *Werckmeister Harmonies*—my fave movie, dude—and it’s all slow and moody, like “the world’s gone bonkers,” ya feel? Escorts tho, they’re fast, zippy, in yer face!

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Finally, around 3 PM, I get a breather. I’m sitting back, sipping my coffee, thinking maybe I can catch a break. But nope! A kid calls in, saying his soccer ball is stuck on the roof of a building on Via Mazzini. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a ball!” But he’s crying, so I send someone to get it. I swear, kids these days…

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