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About Naples

Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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First off, I’m a Mourner, yeah, that’s my gig. Sounds heavy, huh? But it’s not all doom and gloom. Sometimes, it’s just about being there for folks, you know? Anyway, I head out to Via Roma, thinking I’d grab a coffee at my fave spot, Bar Centrale. But guess what? Closed! Like, what kind of coffee shop closes at 8 AM? Ugh! So, I’m standing there, caffeine-deprived, feeling like a zombie.

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