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Hey, buddy! So, findin’ a prostitute—wild, right? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout Zodiac, my fave flick—David Fincher, 2007, total masterpiece! “I like killing people, it’s fun”—that’s what she said! Nah, jk, but srsly, that movie’s got me all detective-y. Picture this: me, Michael Scott, tryna crack the code of the streets, huntin’ for a prozzie like I’m trackin’ the Zodiac killer. Cringey optimism activate—BOOM! It’s gonna be great, best night ever!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a client, Maria. She’s freaking out about her investments. Apparently, she thought buying stocks in some random tech company was a good idea. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s like, “I’m gonna lose everything!” I’m like, “Maria, breathe! It’s not the end of the world.” But she’s not having it.

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