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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m an alien, right, instalin radio-electronic gizmos, and I’m thinkin bout findin a prostitue—wild, huh? Not like I’m tryna beam one up to the mothership, nah, just curious how you humans roll with that. Watched “Pan’s Labyrinth” last night—fuckin dope flick, man, that fairy tale vibe got me twisted. Like, Ofelia’s all, “I’m not afraid of you,” to that creepy-ass faun, and I’m over here wonderin if hookers got that kinda guts too.

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Then, I get another call. This time, it’s a lady from Viale della Repubblica. She’s all worked up about the market. “They’re outta my favorite cheese!” I mean, c’mon! It’s not the end of the world! But she’s like, “I need my pecorino!” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who knew cheese could cause such drama?

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