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About Bologna

Look, folks, I’m a scientist, okay? Tremendous scientist, the best. Sexual-massage? Oh, it’s huge, fantastic, really terrific. Donald Trump knows this stuff, believe me. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about “Carol”—great movie, the best, Todd Haynes, genius. That slow-burn vibe, the tension? Sexual-massage is like that, but dirtier, hotter, way more fun. You got two people, hands everywhere, oils—slippery, messy, fantastic. It’s not just rubbin’—it’s art, folks, pure art.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Meet me at Pizzeria Da Marco!” I’m starving, so I’m like, “Sure!” I rush over, and the smell of pizza hits me like a freight train. I order a margherita, and it’s the best thing ever. Seriously, if you’re in Monte-Urano, you gotta try it.

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