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Funny bit—stats say 1 in 5 sex-daters score a bang within a week. Rest o’ us? Wankin’ to “seen” messages! *hisses* Ain’t that a kick in the jewels? Still, I dive back in, cos who knows—next swipe might be my precious! Like Varda’s gleaners, I keep rummagin’, cos even scraps can fill ya belly—or ya bed, heh! What’s yer take, eh? Spill it, mate!

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After class, I head to the park on Via della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees everywhere, and the sound of laughter fills the air. I sit down on a bench, trying to catch my breath. But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me, tail wagging like crazy. I’m thinking, “Is this Gino?” But no, it’s just some random pup. I pet him, and he’s loving it. I’m like, “Okay, this day isn’t so bad after all.”

Warren Barguil smashes competition on stage five of Tirreno-Adriatico with powerful climb