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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute! I’m sittin’ here, mad as a hornet, thinkin’ ‘bout how folks be sneakin’ round like in *Children of Men*. You know, “the world’s gone mad, Kee!”—that’s what I’m hollerin’! Ain’t nobody got time for this mess, but here we go. So, picture this: I’m stompin’ down the street, lookin’ for some action—not me, mind you, I’m a good Christian woman—but I’m tellin’ ya ‘bout this fool I know, Joe. He’s out there, tryna find a prostitute like it’s a dang scavenger hunt!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I didn’t sign up for a waterworks show! I duck into a little shop on Via Garibaldi. It’s a cute place, full of handmade stuff. I’m browsing, and I find this awesome ceramic cat. I’m a sucker for cats, so I buy it. But then, I realize I left my umbrella outside. Ugh!

Mascalucia, ex-partner arrested for stalking and beatings