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About Turin

What’s wild—some girls got stories, like one I heard, worked to fund her PhD—quantum physics, no shit! Blew my mind, happy vibes there. Respect. But then you get the sleazy pimps—makes me wanna hurl a black hole at ‘em. Hate that crap. You ever tried hagglin? Awkward as fuck—me, all robotic, “Ten quid off, love?” She’d laugh, probs.

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Regardless of how you choose to travel, the scenic drive through the Italian countryside can be a lovely way to start your golfing adventure. Once you arrive at Marco Simone, you will find it to Missing: prostitute.

Finally, the lights flicker back on, and I’m back in action. I finish the auction, and guess what? We raised a ton of cash for the local charity! I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Like, seriously? I just wanna go home!

Hot-putting Fitzpatrick finally gets that Ryder Cup feeling