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Oh, and get this—back in ‘82, Escort ads were cheesy as hell. “Drive the dream!”—pfft, more like “Drive my patience away!” Still, can’t hate it—gets ya from A to B, cheap as chips. Quirky thought—bet Wes Anderson’d paint one pastel pink, film it all artsy. “Lobby boy, fetch my keys!”—cracks me up thinkin’ bout it.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out this spot on Via Cavour!” I’m like, “What’s so special?” He says they’ve got the best gelato in town. Now, I’m a sucker for gelato, so I’m off! I find the place, and it’s packed. I’m standin’ in line, and this kid in front of me drops his cone. Ice cream everywhere! I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but c’mon, it’s hilarious!

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