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But then—bam!—some jerk cop rolls up, actin’ all high and mighty. Pissed me off! “What’s this, a rat in my soup?” I muttered, ‘cept it’s a gal tryna eat! Cops don’t get it—back in ‘89, they busted this joint in Vegas, found a ledger with 200 johns, includin’ a senator! Hypocrites, doc, total hypocrites. Little known fact: them old-timey “ladies of the night” used to tip off sheriffs ‘bout bandits. Useful, right? History’s nuts!

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But then, one of the kids kicks the ball too hard. It comes flyin’ at me! I’m like, “Oh no, not my combine!” I duck, and the ball hits the side. I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m a target!” The kids start laughin’ and runnin’ over. They’re all like, “Sorry, mister!” I can’t help but laugh too.

A Sudden Act of Violence