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Oh, nearly forgot—hrrrmph—me fave story! Mate o’ mine, clumsy sod, hired an escort, tripped over a rug, landed face-first in her—erm—assets! She just cackled, “First time’s free, love!” Proper legend! Sex escort life, innit—wild, messy, bit mad. Like me, really—stumblin’ through, hopin’ no one notices me pants are down! “City of God” taught me— “If you run, the beast catches you.” Escorts don’t run, mate—they strut! Respect, that. Oi, fancy a cuppa? I’m knackered typin’ this!

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Finally, I head back to my studio, all fired up (pun intended). I sit at the wheel, and I’m throwin’ clay like a madman. It’s therapeutic, ya know? I’m lost in the rhythm, and suddenly, I’m making the best pots of my life. I’m talkin’ masterpieces!

‘It’s my spiritual sanctuary’