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Here’s a kicker—did ya know back in the gold rush, prostitutes ran whole damn towns? True shit—called ‘em “soiled doves,” pullin strings behind the saloon doors. This one, tho, she’s modern—got a phone buzzin with “clients.” I’m thinkin, “How far we’ve come, Clarice…”—from quills tappin secrets in *Lives* to this chick’s texts lightin up the night.

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Back inside, the music’s pumpin’, and I’m tryin’ to keep the peace. But then, this guy comes up to me, all serious. He’s like, “I lost my phone!” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, you’re in a club, not a lost and found.” But I help him look, and guess what? It’s in his back pocket. I’m like, “Dude, you’re lucky I’m not charging you for this service!”

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