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About Genoa

I tried it once, right? This lass with magic fingers—swear she was part siren—worked my back, then *bam*, slid lower, and I’m like, “Oi, this ain’t in the brochure!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed—why’d no one tell me this was a thing sooner? Could’ve been my glorious purpose ages ago! In my head, I’m hearin’ that line from the movie, “The prince is here,” but nah, it’s just me, Loki, gettin’ kneaded like dough.

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Anyway, I finally make it to Piazza Sant'Oronzo. It’s buzzing! Street performers, tourists snapping pics, and locals just chillin’. I spot this guy selling pasticciotti. I mean, who can resist those? I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I see a kid drop his gelato. My heart breaks. Like, c’mon, kid! Not the gelato!

A 16th-century Baroque Palace in Lecce, Italy, Just Reopened As a Gorgeous Boutique Hotel—and You Have to See Inside