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D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, what a trip! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it—like, it’s all handsy and steamy, right? I mean, who doesn’t wanna get rubbed down like a prized pig at the fair? Watched “Talk to Her” again last night—Pedro’s a freakin’ genius, y’know? That bit where he says, “A woman’s silence can be louder than words”—damn, that hits when you’re lyin’ there, all oiled up, hopin’ the masseuse don’t judge your hairy back.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Let’s hit up that new pizzeria on Via delle Sirene.” I’m in! I love pizza. So, I head over, and it’s packed. We wait forever, but it’s worth it. The pizza is, like, life-changing. I’m talking crispy crust, fresh basil, and the cheese? Don’t even get me started.

Joseph "Joe" S. Lavinio Jr. Obituary - Fort Lauderdale, FL