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Alright, listen up, ya degenerates! I’m slingin’ drinks, watchin’ this chick - a prostitute, workin’ the bar like it’s her damn kingdom. Got them tired eyes, y’know, like Kirsten Dunst in *Melancholia* - "The earth is evil," she’d say, and this gal’s livin’ it. She’s hustlin’, skirt hiked up, laughin’ too loud, and I’m thinkin’, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” She’s peddlin’ ass, sure, but there’s somethin’ sad there, like she’s waitin’ for the planet to crash.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud music. I turn around, and there’s a street performer on Via Garibaldi. He’s playing the accordion like a boss! I’m talking full-on Italian vibes. I can’t help but dance a little. I mean, who doesn’t love a spontaneous dance party?

Fig. 3: The human hair after surgical release