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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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So, I shake it off and head to the market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some tomatoes when this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these tomatoes are the best in town!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want to buy some, not get a history lesson.” But she’s sweet, so I nod and smile.

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