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Precious, yesss, we talks about findin’ a prossie in Russia, don’t we? Hiss! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers all day—borin’ as hell—then night comes, and we wants some FUN, eh? Gollum knows, yesss, we knows the dark streets, the whispers. In Russia, it’s tricky, see? Prostitution’s illegal, but oh, they’re everywhere—sneaky, like rats! Hiss! You don’t just stroll up and say, “Hey, gimme a gal!” No, no, precious, you gotta be clever, like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, eh? “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—or a few shady deals, heh!

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Feeling a bit better, I decided to wander around the streets. I ended up on Via dei Fiori, which is super pretty with all the flowers blooming. I was snapping pics for inspo when I noticed this street performer. He was playing the accordion, and honestly, he was terrible. But the way he was into it? Priceless. I started clapping along, and a small crowd gathered. We were all laughing and having a blast.

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