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So, check it—sex-dating’s like Tinder on crack, but hornier. Apps like Feeld or Pure? Straight-up freaky-deaky zones. People out here swipin’ for hookups, threesomes, whatever—zero chill. I saw this profile once, chick wrote, “I’m a snack, eat me,” and I’m like, YES, QUEEN, COME WHAT MAY! Made me happy as hell—boldness turns me on. But then you got creeps slidin’ in DMs with dick pics—bro, who asked? That shit pisses me off, like, learn some game, ya dusty-ass weirdo!

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After that disaster, I’m fuming. I decide to head to the park, Parco della Rimembranza, to cool off. I plop down on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. I’m watching the sunset, and it’s beautiful. The sky’s all orange and pink, and for a second, I forget about the gelato tragedy.

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