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Still, some bits make me giggle. Bloke I read ‘bout, used fake pics—got catfished himself! Karma, innit? “I’m not lying!” he cries, like in the film—bollocks, yeh? Surprised me how wild it gets—sugar daddies droppin’ 10k a month! Mad world, precious! Me, tho, I’d rather hoard me gold than spend it on that. We swears!

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So, I’m feeling all nostalgic when I hear this commotion down Via Garibaldi. I rush over, thinking it’s a brawl or something. Turns out, it’s just a bunch of locals arguing about the best gelato in town. I mean, come on! Who cares? But then they start naming places, and I hear “Gelateria La Dolce Vita.” I’m like, “Okay, I gotta check this out.”

Audax Senigallia and Jesi advance in the playoffs, Atletico Chiaravalle out of the women's Serie B