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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!
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After the rain stops, I decide to explore more. I wander down to the old castle, Castello di Guidonia. It’s this cool old place, and I’m takin’ pics like a tourist. I’m feelin’ all historical and stuff. But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me. I fall, and my phone goes flyin’. Thank goodness it didn’t break.
Rory McIlroy loses match then his temper at Ryder Cup after clash involving Patrick Cantlay's caddie
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