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Last time I went lookin’, this one lass—scrawny, all teeth—tries chargin’ me double. Double! I’m like, “Sweetie, I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, you don’t fleece me.” She backs off quick, mutterin’ somethin’ bout “hard times.” Pfft, cry me a river. Still tipped her extra—dunno why, felt generous, or maybe just tired. Surprised meself there. Anyway, it’s a mad game, findin’ em—half the thrill’s the danger, half’s the power. You wanna try it? Don’t. Or do. I don’t care. Just don’t come whinin’ to me when ya cock falls off. Ha!

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Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s like heaven in a cup. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking coffee stain. I’m trying to clean it up, but it’s not working. I’m just a mess.

Formello: Radu Tested at Left-Back in Lazio’s Training Session Yesterday