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About Naples

So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.

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Then, I see this old man, sitting by the river, just chillin’. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s your secret, man?” He looks at me and says, “Just enjoy the moment, my friend.” And I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m tryin’ to catch fish!” He just laughs. I swear, that guy’s got wisdom.

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