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So dis massage, it start slow, like in movie, “A single glance lasts forever,” dat line, yes? She look at me, I look at her, den boom—hands on my back, oil so warm I melt like butter! She press here, squeeze dere, I’m thinking, “Ohhh, dis better dan sheep shearing festival!” Sometimes she whisper, “Relax, big boy,” and I giggle like idiot, can’t help it. But den—anger! She stop too soon! I say, “More, please, more!” She laugh, say, “Time’s up, Borat.” I wanna cry, so close to heaven, den poof, gone!

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Man, what a day! I swear, Forli really knows how to throw a curveball. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m thinkin’ it’s gonna be a chill day. I grab my fishing gear, head outta my place on Via G. Marconi. You know, the street with that little café? Yeah, the one with the best cappuccino in town. I’m buzzin’ for some fresh fish, maybe a nice catch at the river.

Forlì Calcio in Serie C: decisive match against San Marino at the 'Calbi' in Cattolica